The Taylor Family

Sweet baby, you’re one year old today. An entire year! You look so much older, too – I can hardly believe you’re the same baby I held for the first time on September 8, 2008.

There is so much I want to remember about this time, but I find it so hard to record it here. What I want to remember is the way I feel when you give me your huge grin that shows your two (almost three!) teeth, when I hear you giggle, when you hold my fingers and walk across the room, when you climb into my lap and hold onto my hair. I can write down that you wave hello and goodbye, that you try to say bye-bye, dog and duck, and that you are this close to walking, but I can’t capture in words how that makes me feel. I don’t know how to explain how proud I am of you or how much joy you and your little voice bring to my life.

We had a nice day today. We played in the grass (which you absolutely love) and I pushed you in the swing at the park (which you think you like, but aren’t quite sure about). We read some books, danced to some music, and crawled all over the house. Going under things is your latest trick – you like to sit under your Jumperoo and belly-crawl under your little chairs. Today you also crawled into Henry’s cage when I wasn’t looking. You were busy!

You fell asleep in my arms tonight, and I just held you and listened to you breathe. You are so soft and warm, and your curls smell so nice. There will be a day – and I know it will come even sooner than I think – when I won’t be able to cradle you close and cuddle you while you sleep. You’ll be too grown up for that. Some day my arms won’t make everything better when you’re sad, but they’ll always be there for you just the same. And I can’t imagine the day when holding you in my arms doesn’t make me feel better when I’m sad.

You’re a special girl, and I love you very much. It’s been a wonderful year.

Love,

Mom

Yesterday two more teeth appeared – two on the top, one on the bottom – which means I win, since I predicted at least 3 teeth before Cadie’s birthday.

We were starting to price dentures, but it looks like that won’t be necessary after all. Cadie’s first tooth appeared today – Chris noticed it this morning and called me at work to tell me. It’s just barely there, but so cute and pearly white! I know most babies have several teeth by now, but for some reason hearing that Cadie finally had one hit me kind of hard. She’s my little baby! How can she have teeth? After so long without them, this is going to take some getting used to.

So, Cadie hasn’t quite mastered the sippy cup yet, meaning things can get a bit messy. This evening she ended up with a layer of water covering the tray to her highchair. Henry, as he always does after I remove Cadie from the chair (and often before), stuck his head under the tray to clean her seat of all food particles. I yelled at him, he jerked his head up, the tray went flying, and the kitchen floor ended up covered with water and saturated Gerber Puffs. I set Cadie down to grab a towel, and when I turned back around she was belly-down in the puddle of water, slipping all over the place and plastered with Puffs. She didn’t quite know what to make of her sudden inability to crawl – it was actually very cute.

We’re definitely not ready for anything but water in the sippy cup. Oh, and if she doesn’t get the hang of it, we have a backup plan – today I grabbed her just after she drank out of Max’s water dish.

Yesterday you turned 11 months old. You have changed so much since your days as a “burrito,” as your papa would say – all wrapped up in your swaddling blanket and barely opening your eyes. You are a little person now, crawling everywhere and getting into everything. Continue reading →

Cadie absolutely says “bye bye” now. She’s so amazingly brilliant.

I’ve figured out what this feels like. It’s that same melancholy feeling I had my senior year of college, and once again it has me watching old movies and wandering campus alone. It’s the feeling you get when you are optimistic about the future but uncertain what it holds. When you’re ready to be done with what you’re doing, but anxious about leaving something you know you’re good at. When you wonder if anything you’ve spent so much energy on during the last few years will be thought valuable by those outside your little world. It’s the feeling you get when, suddenly, your friends are no longer just down the hall.

It’s a feeling I don’t like, though its familiarity provides a strange comfort.

I was going through my “education” box last night, looking for a copy of a job application I turned in right after I graduated that included salary information on past jobs. (Can’t find it. Have no idea what I got paid for anything I’ve done in the past.) I did find, however, my results on the Strong Interest Inventory, apparently taken on 11/16/04 in some college psych class. Continue reading →

I resigned from my job. It was a good two years. Last day is October 1 – seemed right to give plenty of notice under the circumstances. The circumstances are complicated. That’s not true. They are very simple. I don’t want to talk about it. Please send all librarian jobs my way, and all web design jobs Chris’s.

No more pumping. Made it a good 10+ months, but I’d had enough. Can’t say I miss it.

Cadie pulls herself up on everything, and has started to let go (and fall). She doesn’t look like a baby anymore.

Henry is still the same.